I attended a lovely Gala to commemorate 50 successful and innovative years of business for the company that employed me. Other than the beautifully lighted room full of ambiance, candles, decadently prepared food and intoxicating wine, my favorite part of the evening was connecting with dear friends and colleagues of mine from the past 10 years. It was truly magical to see them all again.
And, magically, they all had the same question for me right off the bat...,
"So, how's the farm going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Notice, it really wasn't a question but rather asked as more of an exclamation that you reserve for inquiring about some of the more fabulous things on earth.)
I tried to deliver the message to their shinning faces that they wanted to hear, with my best customer service skills that I developed, and only hoped it didn't reveal my inner most secret thoughts, that at times,
"f a r m" is a 4-letter word.
I didn't have the heart to tell them,
.
...that, "Take That F@#ker!" are the first words out of my mouth more than I would ever admit.
...that snakes don't always stay outside but will scare you into an incurable state of post traumatic stress where you'll never go to the bathroom again in the middle of the night without a flashlight and prayer.
...that pruning blackberries leaves your arms looking like a victim of a violent slasher movie, cut into hundreds of bloody little pieces.
...that picking gallons of blueberries a day gives the same painful carpal thumb effect that too much texting does to a teenager.
...that weeds won't pull themselves when they spread and smother the life out of the 60' of vegetables you planted, composted, mulched and sprinkled holy fish water over.
...that your eyeballs burn like h*ll when the farmer across the road plows his fields, blowing a fine fog of dust all over everything causing your washcloth to resemble the face of Jesus...in dirt.
...that "organic" means working your @ss off only to have your beautifully vine ripened tomatoes eaten by some alien-like, leaf-footed devil beetle bug from, "Men in Black".
And,
...that wood rots, bees sting and you can't fool the b*tch, Mother Nature.
No,
I didn't have the heart to tell them; all of them with their happy faces full of hope and everything good.
So, I told them the same thing I keep having to tell myself from time to time;
...that, " It's fabulous and I couldn't be happier!"
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